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Good afternoon friends! Today, I bring you tales of woe that involve the evils of technology, an angry mob of hungry felines, soccer moms in large groups, and other stories.




1. Whoever invented the trackpad should be shot!


I work as a full time babysitter for a special needs child. He's five years old and loves video games. I'm nineteen years old and love video games. Sometimes when I watch him, we play games together. On these days, I bring my laptop to work with me and set it up next to his computer, and we'll sit and play our respective games together. He plays Minecraft, and I'll either play Morrowind or SimCity 2000.


Today was one of those days where we were supposed to play games together, but alas, it couldn't work out. Why?


Because I accidentally left my fucking USB mouse at home. :stare:


"No problem!" I say to myself as I set my computer up, "I'll just use the trackpad!"


Of course, that was my chipper part-time mom exterior that I put on for the kid so he doesn't know I'm actually dead inside. On the inside I was screaming every swear word known to man and several known only to dogs.


Trackpads and I have a disagreement with each other. When I was in eighth grade, I took a nasty fall down an asphalt path during gym class and ripped most of the skin off of my left hand and almost all of it off my right hand. Now, six year later, the skin is all back, but I have permanent nerve damage in much of my right hand, mostly on my right index finger. Basically, it doesn't work right anymore and is pretty much useless except for telling the weather. Everything that you use your index finger for, I use my middle finger. I point with my middle finger (which has gotten me into some awkward situations more than once), I type with my middle finger, it's pretty much both my index and middle finger nowadays.


Trackpads are difficult for me to use with my middle finger. It's hard, everything goes wrong, I click on things that I don't want to, nothing gets highlighted, and it's just easier to use a USB mouse. I try with my left hand since I'm ambidextrous and can use both hands equally, but I'm so out of practice with a track pad that it's just pathetic to watch.


Video games with a trackpad? Pretty much impossible.


And all I had today was a trackpad.


I just played Plague Inc. on my phone instead.


:icontealdeerplz::iconsaysplz:I FORGOT MY DAMN MOUSE TODAY AND HAD TO USE A TRACKPAD. I HATE TRACKPADS.




2. The kid is not my son!


More adventures with the special needs five-year-old I babysit (who shall henceforth be referred to as the Kiddo)! This time, it was Wednesday afternoon, and I decided to take him to the park for a little while. The Kiddo agreed. We put on some sunscreen, wandered over to the park, and the Kiddo had a blast running all over the place. Being an old lady trapped in the body of a nineteen-year-old, I had a difficult time keeping up with him and just sat on a bench watching.


The park we went to was three-tiered on a hill. On top of the hill was a playground for older kids, a large swingset, and a basketball court. The second tier was a bunch of pavilions and the restroom. The third and bottom tier was a playground for much younger kids. This is where the horde of soccer moms had staked their claim with their large amount of small children.


The Kiddo had to go to the bathroom, so we went down to the second tier and used the restroom there. We come out of the restroom, get a drink at the water fountain, and then the Kiddo sees all of the other little kids on the first tier. He's off like a shot to go see what they're up to. I follow behind him and stay off to the side of the moms, since soccer moms and I usually don't get along.


Eventually, the moms notice that the Kiddo is running around playing with their kids. They look at him, judging him; the Kiddo has autism and acts "weird" compared to other children, but once you figure him out he's just like any other kid. He has his own "language" and own way of holding a conversation, which I have figured out and use to communicate with him. I also use a bastardized form of sign language with him if he can't figure out how to use his words or understand me.


Snapping my fingers at my side means "come here".


Snapping my fingers in the direction of a spot on the ground means "go there".


Pointing my left ring index finger at him and shaking it means "no" or "stop that".


There's a ton more than that, but that's just a general idea of the sign language we developed for each other.


I get his attention by calling his name, and then making the appropriate gesture for the situation. If I want him to come over to me, I shout "Kiddo!" and snap my fingers at my side. It's my go-to to get him out of certain situations, like if he's bothering someone (though sometimes he doesn't always come).


I do this a few times while he's playing when he starts getting too rough with the other kids. The moms look at me every time.


Eventually, the other children gather around the moms. Kiddo follows and is still having a blast with the other kids. I follow close behind and am now standing with the moms instead of off to the side.


He and the other children make their way back onto the play equipment, Kiddo betraying me and leaving me to fend for myself against the horde of judgmental soccer moms. I remain silent while they sit there and talk about throw up and diapers, thinking "I'm never having children of my own."


Eventually, one of them looks at me, and asks "When did you have your son?"


:stare:


This always happens when Kiddo and I go out together. No matter where we go or what we do, every time, without fail, someone asks me when I had him or if he's my son.


Naturally, my Loon Sass kicks in in these situations. At first I used to politely explain that I'm just the babysitter, but after this happening so much and realizing just how nosy people are, I quit and just go right to the sarcasm. I find that it makes people leave me alone more quickly.


This situation is no different. I default to sarcasm.


"Oh, he's not my kid. I just found him one day and decided to keep him."


Cue horrified looks. Kiddo overheard me and starts to cackle (I've taught him well). I then explain that I'm the babysitter and that they shouldn't assume that every young-looking woman with a child in tow is a teenage mother, and even if they're a teen mom you shouldn't judge because they have enough problems going on.


:icontealdeerplz::iconsaysplz:Everyone assumes that the kid I babysit is my son and that I'm an unwed teenage mother, and treat me accordingly. HE IS NOT MY SON GODAMNIT! :iconstareshakeplz:




3. Empty food bowls and angry cats.


I have four cats, and, like all cats, if I don't feed them EXACTLY at their usual feeding time, they act like they're going to starve to death and gang up on the nearest person.


Yesterday evening, I fed them at five o'clock as usual, but the bag of food was empty after that. My mom said (claimed, actually) that she was going to go to the store after my brother's fencing lesson that evening, so I gave her my usual list of stuff to get (plus cat food) and told her we were completely out of cat food.


Mom did not go to the store after my brother's lesson.


I woke up this morning, and there was no cat food. Only a three hungry cats sitting around the empty bin and Misty howling upstairs.


Uh oh. :stare:


The three other cats all gang up on me. There's nothing I can do and I have to get ready for work, so I go make myself some tea. Dad is already halfway out the door to go to his job and promises the cats that he'll bring home a bag of cat food by noon. Brother is still passed out upstairs in his room. Mom's laptop isn't working and is on the phone with her office's tech support since my dad and I are going to work and can't help her (I got good at fixing computers during my absence). The cats have no one to gang up on but me.


My adversaries include, from oldest to youngest:


Misty, fatass tortieshell, deaf old lady, skills include meowing loudly and laying on things you're using.

Kitty, fat tuxedo, angry old man, skills include knocking things over for attention and scratching things that shouldn't be scratch.

Cookie, fatass silver tabby, princess, skills include licking things too much and sitting on things you're using.

Guinness, tiny black cat, idiot, skills include mournful meows and pathetic looks.


Misty is upstairs in my brother's room, howling (my brother sleeps through this because he's actually a rock). Guinness is sitting at my feet looking up at me with his big baby eyes. Cookie is on her hind legs with her front paws on my leg, meowing. Kitty is jumping onto the counter and getting in between me and my tea.


I go upstairs to shower. Kitty, Cookie, and Guinness sit outside the bathroom door howling and scratching.


I go back downstairs and check my various social media. Kitty sits behind me yowling. Guinness paws at my legs. Cookie pushes my laptop lid shut repeatedly.


After a half hour of kitty cat onslaught, I'm going crazy. My babies are hungry and there's nothing I can do!


Then I remember that we have cold cuts in the fridge...


Long story short, after getting mobbed by angry, hungry cats, I remedied the situation by grabbing some cold turkey out of the fridge and feeding that to the cats. That got them to leave me alone long enough to get out the door to work, thus making them my mom's problem.


:icontealdeerplz::iconsaysplz:Mom forgot to buy cat food. Chaos ensues and is only fixed by cold cuts.




4. Misc. Complaints

+ I took my driver's test and failed. Then my learner's permit expired and I had to do impressive gymnastic feats to get through the hoops to get a new permit.

+ I go back to college in less than a month and have to be an adult again.

+ My family keeps forgetting that I don't have a sense of smell. I haven't had a sense of smell since I was five. I'm almost twenty. Really, people? :stare:

Because I, the vertically-challenged cat lady, have nothing better to do than complain about my life, here's how my summer is going so far!


1. Curse you muscle memory!

Back in March, my external hard drive failed and took $300 dollars worth of video games with it. I managed to rescue Skyrim, but everything else was lost; Spore, Arena through Oblivion (I own all of the Elder Scrolls games, suck it), SimCity, everything.


Today, I've managed to restore Skyrim back to the former glory I had it at, SimCity is working once more, and I reinstalled Morrowind earlier last week. I don't have enough memory left on my main hard drive to fit the rest of my games, so they have to wait until I can either get a new, proper computer instead of the Frankentop, as I have come to call my current one or figure out how to split my Steam and Origin installations between two hard drives (yes, I use Origin, don't judge me). The new computer is more likely since mine is a piece of shit MacBook Air with Windows installed and USB objects out the wazoo.

Everything is fine and dandy in my little world of video games...

...well, sort of.

You see, my two favorite games to play as of right now are The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind. Both are great games in their own right and Morrowind has so far aged decently (the graphics look like thousand-year-old potatoes, though, since it came out in 2002). The only problem I'm encountering?

Muscle memory.

Morrowind and Skyrim have different controls. To get an idea of my struggle, here is an example of a few of the controls:


Morrowind:

- SPACEBAR for activating

- “E” for jumping

- “Right click” for opening your inventory

- TAB for changing from first to third person

- "Left click" to attack


Skyrim:

- "E" for activating

- SPACEBAR for jumping

- TAB for opening your inventory

- "F" or scrolling to change from first to third person

- "Right click" for left-handed attack


When I first started playing Morrowind in earnest, I kept accidentally trying to use Skyrim's controls. I would have attempted to transfer Skyrim's controls to Morrowind, but because of the fundamental differences between the two games it would have been a nightmare. In Skyrim, you can dual-wield weapons and magic, but can't use magic if you're holding a weapon. In Morrowind, you can't dual-wield, but you can hold a weapon and use magic at the same time. Skyrim also has a WALK - JOG - SPRINT system, while Morrowind only has a WALK - SPRINT system (unless you have mods to increase the starting WALK speed like I do, because I want to play Morrowind, not Snailwind). So yeah, a nightmare to transfer controls. Add in the fact that I play on a bootcamped Mac and don't have as many keys as an actual PC, and it's just...ugh.

Luckily I found an old USB PC keyboard from 1997 in my basement, which will work with my computer once I get the keyboard itself working. All I need is some canned air to get the grime out from under the keys and a few dozen bottles of disinfectant because a lot can happen in that basement between 1997 and 2015. Bugs. Dust. Jimmy Hoffa. Who knows what else is down there? I don't. :stare:

But anyway, back to my griping about muscle memory.

After a few hours of playing Morrowind and screaming because of the cliff racers (which will haunt me until the end of days), I finally get the hang of the controls. Everything is going swimmingly (except for the cliff racers) and I'm running around happily shanking bandits in the face and bribing people into liking me (a system that should be brought back for The Elder Scrolls VI).

A few mornings ago, after checking on my oldest cat from this complaint, I decide to play Skyrim instead of Morrowind for a little while. I've sunk close to 2000 hours on Skyrim (1000 on Xbox 360, almost 1000 on PC), so the control changeover should be easy, right?

Wrong.

Curse you, muscle memory! I didn't want to stab that guard when I tried to open my inventory! Now I can never go back to Markarth! :crying:

Wait, no, that's a good thing. Fuck Markarth.

:icontealdeerplz::iconsaysplz:I tried to open my inventory and now a man is dead.




Anti-complaint: Misty is all better! :la:

All better! by Crazylittleloon

All better! by Crazylittleloon
All better!
Misty was sick over the weekend but she's better now!
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And the vertically challenged cranky Loon has returned! Fortunately for me, but unfortunately for you, I have nothing like the epic five-part saga of the shitty roommate anymore, but I think I've brought something to the table to satisfy your need to hear about how shitty my life can get at times.

Very, very early Sunday morning, one of my cats, a fifteen-year-old tortie named Misty, threw up. Then, just a few minutes later, she threw up again. Then again. And again.

This, however, is not a thread about cat puke covering my poor brother's bedroom. It is, however, about the fact that the little cat I've raised since she was six weeks old back in 2000 is ill and we don't know exactly what's wrong with her. :stare:

My brother sat up with her through most of the night as she tried to drink or eat, only to throw it back up a few minutes later. Normally a chatty, bouncy old lady, she was flopped on his bed barely moving and looking miserable.

She couldn't eat or drink all day without vomiting. My brother went out with his friends and I sat with her for a little while. She was chattier, but still not moving much. Despite being fifteen years old, she's a little wiggle worm, so I was getting worried.

I go to take my afternoon nap around two in the afternoon.

Brother comes home, goes up to his room, and sees that she's thrown up all of her food and water once more. It's getting to be early evening and she hasn't been able to eat or drink all day.

I haul ass and bring my baby girl to the emergency animal hospital right around the corner from my house (thank God :stare:). Dad and brother tag along and remind me to put her in the cat carrier because I was already halfway in the driver's seat with her still in my arms.

We show at the animal hospital with both me and the cat looking like a wreck. This is my first baby we're talking about, here. She was the first cat I raised from kittenhood. She's basically my child. My fat, furry child with four legs.

She was scared half to death for most of the appointment. The techs let me hold her while they took her vitals so she wouldn't freak out, and she kept her front legs wrapped around my neck in some weird kind of hug the entire time. And the fur, oh God, the fur.

Sometimes, when a cat gets nervous, they shed. Like crazy. Misty was no exception; I had a new fur jacket when I brought her home. And hat. And pants. And a beard. That's how much she fucking shed.

The good news is that her blood work came back absolutely fine with just some signs of dehydration.

The bad news is that her blood work came back absolutely fine with just some signs of dehydration. AKA they don't know what was wrong with her. Heart rate was normal, temperature was normal, her tummy was normal...they couldn't tell me what was wrong with my baby girl. :stare:

As my writing this at one o'clock in the morning, she's a bit lethargic from medication. The vet gave her fluids to rehydrate her and some anti-nausea medication, and she was put on a twelve hour fast where she isn't allowed to eat or drink. After that, she can have a few tablespoons of food and water. If she can keep it down, then great!

If not, we're back to square one. :stare:

Until then, all I can do is fret. I hope she is okay. :crying:

:icontealdeerplz::iconsaysplz:My oldest cat is sick and I'm worried.

Bonus Complaint: Fucking Cliff Racers. Little skreeing bastards. No wonder they made Jiub a saint. :stare:

Bonus picture of Misty at the vet:

Misty by Crazylittleloon

Not pictured: the poor bastard that had to take her temperature up the butt. My shoulders will never recover from the clawing.
Misty by Crazylittleloon
Misty
My fifteen-year-old tortie Misty. Bask in her adorableness. Bask in it.
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Journal History

deviantID

Crazylittleloon
Grace Erickson
Artist | Student | Literature
United States
So I finally got around to putting my actual first name on here. I've gone by my pseudonym for a while on here because I'm a paranoid fuck, but...well, I've gotten a bit better about that, ha.

I'm nineteen and three quarters, extremely neurotic, and a writer. I seem like an egotistical jackass but I'm actually not, I just pretend to be so I feel better about myself. I enjoy doing stupid shit for other's amusement, video games, and playing with my babies (cats, in case you were wondering).

I'm in my second year of studying for a degree in Creative Writing and will probably go into editing, but my dream job is to be a stand-up comedian. I'm also thinking about minoring in IT because I spend a lot of time screaming at technology.

I've been writing Elder Scrolls fanfiction as of late, because I don't have the time to commit to something of my own at this time. I also want to save any ideas I get for NaNoWriMo, which I have won five years in a row.

I'm extremely skilled at knitting and crochet, which I do a lot in my free time. I make very cute baby hats and can churn a bunch out in one day as long as I don't have any cuts on my fingers. But I just recently moved to the land of snow and crack-houses (aka Northern Pennsylvania) and accidentally left all of my supplies behind. Sob.

I also draw on occasion, but I'm not all that good at it. I'm actually terrible at it. I mostly do it to get a feel for what my characters look like or if I'm stuck in a boring class.

I speak fluent English and German, enough Russian to not get shot, and am learning Finnish.

I'm obsessed with the Elder Scrolls series and the Eurovision Song Contest. I own all five games from The Elder Scrolls, mostly playing Skyrim and Morrowind. Skyrim is my favorite since it was the one I started with and the graphics don't look like potatoes (well, kind of...I play on a bootcamped Mac so the graphics are actually terrible).

As for the Eurovision Song Contest...well, lets just say that I skipped my senior prom to watch it instead and I got so worked up over Denmark winning in 2013 that I actually fell out of my chair. I can sense people talking about Eurovision from up to six miles away in good weather conditions.

I make mods for Skyrim in my free time. Hit me up if you want links to download locations.
Interests
It started with the winter Steam sale and a 1TB external hard drive.

It continued with The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion and The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind resting happily in the new hard drive.

It will end sometime soon with a DOS emulator and The Elder Scrolls I: Arena and The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall.

Basically I have all five Elder Scrolls games now and I'm screaming.
  • Mood: Christmas Spirited
  • Listening to: Don't You Worry Child - Swedish House Mafia
  • Reading: Instructions on installing a DOS emulator
  • Watching: People on the news complaining about something
  • Playing: The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
  • Eating: Christmas cookies
  • Drinking: Chocolate Milk

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Comments


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:iconmorbidiadrekk:
MorbidiaDrekk Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015
How is my little Loon? Feeling better, I hope.
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Student Writer
Much better! But these dietary changes are going to kick my ass.
Reply
:icondementedink:
DementedInk Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2014
THANKS so much for the fave.
Reply
:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2014  Student Writer
No problem.
Reply
:iconmegstiel:
megstiel Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Student General Artist
youve had the same icon for like 4 years or something now 
Reply
:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Student Writer
Yup.
Reply
:iconmegstiel:
megstiel Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Student General Artist
its a belarus cosplay right 
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2014  Student Writer
Yup.
Reply
:iconmorbidiadrekk:
MorbidiaDrekk Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014
Merry Birthmasween!!! :cake::hooray::party::dance:
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014  Student Writer
Thanks. :la:
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014
Happy birthday! :la:
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! :la:
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014
You're welcome. :) How was it?
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Student Writer
Great!
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(1 Reply)
:icongameshopplz:
Gameshopplz Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014
:wave:
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Student Writer
:wave:
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:iconspaniardwithknives:
SpaniardWithKnives Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You are a funny one :la::la:
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Student Writer
Danke
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:iconmarquite:
Marquite Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the faves and the watch! :hug:
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014  Student Writer
No problem!
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:iconmylittleschool:
MyLittleSchool Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
love your art *
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you!
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:icondove-51:
dove-51 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the :+fav: :heart
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Student Writer
No problem.
Reply
:iconprincess-rufflebutt:
Princess-Rufflebutt Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Student General Artist
Your name is Grace????

I never would have guessed. It's cute!
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